HAPS members are individuals who are committed to teaching and want to inspire a love of the subject matter in their students. Teaching is not easy, and there are times when aspects of the job can drag us down. And then there are the times that reinforce our commitment to the discipline, and remind us why we decided to become A&P teachers in the first place. Last Thursday was one of those times for me. It was my last day of teaching medical Gross Anatomy for the semester. Right as class was to begin, one student stood up and started reciting the following Ode. Another student stood up and took turns with the recitation. Turns out that each student wrote a portion of the ode in the form of a haiku, and it related in some aspect to anatomy, or specific class, or our humorous discussions during lab dissections. The writing is both humorous and touching, and it is a memory I will never forget. Thank you, Class of 2016! Below is the (G-rated/edited) version of the ode:
Odes to Our Gal Val
A Truly Motivating
And inspiring prof
Odes inspired by
Our leader on this Journey
Of Anatomy
Embryology
How worthless you are to me
F&#% F#*% F#%*#$ F#%*#$ F#$*%
Our overflowing
lacrimal fluid, floods our
nasal cavity
Pick my pimply face
Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone
Thrombophlebitis
Winwood so bellows
with a guttural roar from
deep in the pharynx
Fore!
Henry Gray’s wisdom
You taught me, what to avoid
Pick a zit and die
Five
Insidious Loops
And, convoluted pathways
Just to work some glands
Like Cincinnatus,
Your willing accomplices
We absently learn
While painting pictures
Mind’s eye wanders to Flesh, Bone
One grows, accustomed.
Here’s a scary thought
Without it I’m one ball short (LANCE)
gubernaculum
To be so rigid
surely a covering you are
a very tough mother
Moist muscular walls
Between, like kids in the hall
food slides down the gut
(get your head outta the gutter)
I hear “katydids”
When you explain flow to brain
Tell Willis he’s bugged
Sir Fickle’s Fast, yeah?
So many layers to know
Another way to die
In and out I slide
Sometimes deviating left
With nerve XII damage
Fingers in my nose
Epistaxis ain’t so bad
I can’t stop, won’t stop
Arytenoid muscles
Contract, I whisper to thee
My perineum
The periphery
Only canthi, can’t thee see
See me, mon ami
Presbyopia
You’re only twenty-seven
Between you eight eyes
Val loves Family Guy
Oculomotor breaks, Now
she watches the floor
Cranial nerve one
Soiled socks smell like lilacs
Schizophrenia
Without you I think
Its better to not exist
Lacrimal secrete
We try to find nerves
A tireless search, finding only
Abominations
Valerie is nice
Thanks for answering questions
outside of class time
Alien in me
Moves with my every word
No talking for me
Pupil dilation
Melatonin on the rise
Go the f*#$ to sleep